Comment on On the Nature of Wind

  1. daraoakwise on Chapter 25 Tue 10 Oct 2023 05:34PM UTC

    After a reading intermission, back into this incredible story. Love how you write his ebbing and flowing consciousness. And he’s not worried about it because Corry is there. Shaking in cold, sleeping so deeply you don’t even know it. Corry, with his head on the bunk. (One of these days you’ll just get in it together, and hold each other. Not quite there, yet.)

    “So, this is what it feels like, Scotty thought, but he wasn’t sure what this was or what exactly he was feeling. Only that it was important.” Ah, lad. Yes, yes it is, bonnie lad. And then pressing his head to Corry’s and going back to sleep. My heart.

    And then that conversation with Sean. (“still, he felt it was necessary to let Sean know that he might not actually be real.” That is legit hilarious, and also something he’d absolutely think.)

    What this is is actually a tremendously important conversation about who he is. About wolves—family animals. You are, Scotty. (Gah, that aside about Bozeman. Go ahead and kill me, why don’t you. Since he was there.) “I jumped;” they both did. For the same reasons. And the deep loneliness of it. Except—No one jumped after me. And Corry jumped after you. He did and always will, and wolves are family animals. (I woulda. Yes, you would have. And the realization in him that—he would. Always. After anyone. Because, Scotty, that is who you are.) (I went and read that other story about Sean’s funeral again a few days ago. This conversation really is one of the foundations of his soul. Even if he doesn’t know it yet.)

    And the next morning. The ocean that tried to kill them, now gentle and lovely. It’s like that. (Life too, if you’re looking for metaphors, kid.)

    And then we get to have this other life-defining conversation. Second one in a day. And this one sets Corry firmly as who he is. I could have given you the order that killed you. And Scotty—I would have gone either way. “How would I have lived with that?” (I went and read this section from Cor’s POV over in Forty Eight. Shall talk at you about that one later.) There isn’t a way to answer that question. Scotty imagines them reversed (some day you will give orders that kill people, Scotty), and there isn’t a way of answering that question.

    They have both stepped into something new, something neither of them can quite define. Which is why, when Scotty says he is sorry, Corry can say firmly—I’m not. (This is such a foundation for both of their souls. In spinning AUs about how they would both be without this, it’s really is difficult to imagine. Less themselves. More changeable. Less rooted in this certainty that is going to carry them.)

    Then back to plot. (Everyone knew about the guns because of course they did.) The actual madness going on on the Queen Mary. Terrible coffee. (I am always going to laugh at any version of Scotty being distant horrified by his drink.) Voting—let’s not fight. Good, that means you’ll be able to say you tried to talk us out of it. Ah, you boys. 😆

    Just a tremendously affecting and important chapter, in the deep quiet of their souls.

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    1. SLWalker on Chapter 25 Tue 10 Oct 2023 09:53PM UTC

      Oh man. Allll the way back when I'd reached this chapter, having finally finished the previous one (short as it was), I conceived of that first scene. But because I was something of a coward and also didn't feel equal to it, I just-- didn't. Write it. And so it always felt to me that ONOW was missing something kind of vital, something that bridges properly Scotty jumping to save his ship, and what happens with Corry in the next chapter. So, a much more skilled author at this age (no shade on my younger self, she still told a great story), I finally wrote it. And it made it all-- work. Not only in bridging between the leap and the roar, but also closure on Scotty's rivalry with Sean, and what kind of men they both are. In fact, all three; Sean going, "I see you, in the way only I can, because I also jumped and because I loved wolves." And Corry with his head on the bunk. And Scotty, at the heart of it, with that other name he earned, and all the things that go with it.

      You're right, it's a very fundamental conversation. It absolutely does define so much about who he is, both past and future, all the way to his own ending; the same thing that has him leap into the ocean is the same thing that has him kill in defense of his brother is the same thing that literally gets him killed, trying to protect Nyota Uhura, and later almost killed while telling Spock to jettison him to save the ship and crew. Carry it through to ST:III, both in stealing the Enterprise and then standing below watching her burn across the sky. And whether he lets people in or not -- often not -- all of those are still acts of love and service. They all spring from this innate thing woven right into his very make. Even the gruesome one.

      (We see it in the RR, too; him trying to protect his otherself, even when he's practically in pieces on the ground himself.)

      I am definitely curious to see what you have to say about the flipside POV in Forty-Eight versus here! And yes, someday Scotty's going to have to make those hard calls, and to his credit he does. But when it comes to Corry, he learns over time that in most circumstances, he'd choose his brother first and everything else second, regardless. I know we've discussed before how far that might go, so we know there are some circumstances where he'd hold firm -- including in Seamark -- but at least in most cases, he would never be able to choose what Starfleet would want or expect him to.

      LOL! I had fun with Maya's "Can confirm." Re: The guns. And Scotty finding Cor's taste in coffee criminal even back then. Thank you. <3 Thanks to that opening scene, this actually became one of my favorite chapters in this whole tale.

      Thank you so much for such a lovely and insightful comment, it was a joy reading it!

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