Comment on Star Beagle Adventures Episode 4: Starship Trooper

  1. 21st Century Neanderthal Man

    I've probably gone a bit overboard on the formality of comms, but it is a bit of a pet peeve. There is a reason the U.S. armed forces use that formula and stick to it, especially in the heat of battle. It's critically important to have real-time crystal clarity about whose POV you're listening to and who is being addressed.

    That said, I could probably back it off a little in this scene. I think it's probably realistic, but it doesn't scan well... Sometimes verisimilitude needs to give way to cadence, pacing and other good writing principles. The Greek concept of arete - excellence in all things, emphasizes balance.

    I never explained in the story why Sakura is in command during the battle - this is behind the scenes stuff: Howard is with General Krank in the Puppy deploying a weapon to shut down the enemy vessels without destroying them. Dutch Holland is in engineering to oversee the Doppler-Tunneling Generator and Senek is operating the tractor beam to capture the Bluebird.

    Thanks for the thoughtful critique! rbs

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