Comment on Esprit de Corps

  1. MirandaFave on Chapter 1 Tue 13 Aug 2024 07:36PM UTC

    Fuck.

    Ok, so I presume you want a more thorough review than that statement. But fuck, this is a rotten break for Kelley, who was doing everything by the book and trying to get back to base 2 hours early. And you just know this is going to go wrong or hard for her, or have the potential for disrupting her career trajectory by virtue of 'political solutions'. Kelley will make for, or her career, will make for an easy sacrifice to allay the Klingons. Does the "They were being pricks" work as a defence? No. I don't think so. Here's hoping for some Leo like representation in this era for Kelley and that she is not cashiered or made a political expediency. But politics and bureaucracy often don't play fair. So 'Fuck' is a fitting statement.

    Now, onto some other things. Not going to lie, I was expecting, maybe even hoping, for some Marine training montage type chapter, meeting some of her friends and colleagues. But I think I said it in a previous review, you don't just do the conventional expected but what you end up doing usually feels like the more natural fit to the story in the end. I'd like to know more about how she got on in that time, what traits and strengths she showed, leadership qualities and friendships, etc. However, I think what we get here, points to her having a rather singular focus, really pushing herself and striving to get as far and as quick as she can but all the while diligently putting in the work. With Kelley, there's no shortcuts in her vernacular or nature. So the skip past that, almost is fitting.

    Instead, we get introduced to the Furball and the barkeep and in meeting Gunny, Kelley meets something of a true father figure, even their short time and connection together. In short order, you made the connection feel real and genuinely warm. Gunny appreciates the traits in Kelley and it speaks to her and of her. His measure of her no doubt the best validation she could have, especially when her own father could not validate her in any way. It makes for a touching relationship and the gift of the scabbard, the fullest of trust and hope from Gunny in what Kelley might aspire to, is heartwarming as a reader and for Kelley has to be deeply touching and affecting. You just know, that she is going to feel hurt and disappointed in herself for these circumstances and how the sabre ends up involved in it all. She'll feel in some way that she let Gunny down. Again, I refer to the fuck statement from above.

    In the short, I really liked this Mike. Enjoying the bits that lend to the feel of the Marine life within Starfleet and how there are simple little emphasises and slants on things. Things like the simple Delta, Stars and Anchor motif or the focus on the non-commissioned officers, etc. Makes it all very lived in.

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    1. LordMcCoveyCove on Chapter 1 Wed 14 Aug 2024 11:21PM UTC

      The County of McCovey Cove

      When I read this on the email notification, I laughed out loud seeing the first word. Kelley seems like a hard-luck character, but I think you'll find as we move through the introductory arc (first three chapters) that she takes control of things pretty handily. I think also that her upbringing traumatized her to not put up with any bullshit from anyone for anything. She'll play by the rules for the most part, but over time, those who work closely with her will come to find that she's made of tougher stuff and she's not your typical marine.

      As for the training montage, my plan for this series is that we will see her in some kind of training; I just didn't want to spend too much time on her at MCRD training. There is a method to my madness, and it will be made clear later on in this story about her traits and strengths through the action of the plot (I hope). Also, it keeps that basic training portion of her life available to write shorts about.

      Thanks for reading, Kev. Appreciate your insightful comments, as always! :)

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      1. MirandaFave on Chapter 1 Thu 15 Aug 2024 12:50PM UTC

        I should point out that I don't view Kelley as a hard luck character. That agency you speak of, is there in all the characterisation of her. With even the Klingon fight and how it all pans out, she keeps focus and control, seeking to impose her self-control on the situation, avoiding conflict if she can, making wise choices rather than reacting rashly.

        I have faith in your madness! I look forward to how you will continue things.

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