Chapter Text
2367
Over the next several months, Dooku and Severin got together at least three times a week, to share a meal together, and engage in some sort of activity. Chess was a favorite; Severin and Dooku also liked watching old motion pictures from Earth - Dooku was a fan of the Hammer Horror films in particular - and Dooku taught Severin fencing and anbo-jitsu.
One evening, Severin took out his art supplies, and encouraged Dooku to draw and paint with him. Dooku looked at the supplies on the table and stammered, "I-I'm not an artist. I can't draw..."
"Everyone can make art," Severin said. "It's not about whether or not you're good at it, it's about expressing yourself."
So Dooku found himself sitting at the table across from Severin, and attempting to sketch the rose garden he remembered of his home on Betazed. When Severin looked at it, he said, "That's very nice."
Dooku knew Severin was being sincere, and not just saying that to be encouraging - Severin knew better. Dooku felt a warm flush of pride, and then a tingle of surprise when Severin asked, "May I have it?"
When Dooku hesitated, Severin said, "I don't have too many things to remember people by... nothing for my friends on the Melbourne. If something ever happens to you..."
Dooku felt strangely touched by that, and then he said, "Well, you may, but... if you want something like that, maybe it should be more permanent than a piece of paper."
"Hm, perhaps. Something like wood, or clay?"
It was how Dooku found himself getting into wood sculpting, making a plaque that would be the lid of a wooden box, for Severin. Dooku found the act of whittling to be soothing, and he remarked on it one evening when Severin was working with watercolors and he was whittling nearby, feeling Severin watching him now and again.
"See, it's good to expand your horizons and try new things," Severin said. "As old as I am, I find there's still so much to see and do."
Dooku laughed. "As old as you are, you're like a big kid wanting to play."
"Damn straight. And as young as you are, you're like a little old man. You never really got to play much as a kid, did you?"
Dooku snorted. "I'm the child of two Starfleet officers and I knew by the time I was four I wanted to be a starship captain. My childhood was spent studying."
"Well then." Severin gave a small smile. "We're gonna have to fix that."
Dooku gave Severin a look; Severin gave him a look back.
The next time Dooku arrived at Severin's quarters, Severin was in civilian clothing, carrying a wicker basket. He marched Dooku to the holodeck, where he had a program running of autumn in a park in London, something familiar to Dooku. In the wicker basket, Severin had a picnic, with sandwiches, cubed cheese, different kinds of salads, raw fruit and vegetables and assorted dip. He spread out a blanket on the ground and they ate; Dooku was amused that the program had geese, harassing them for food.
After their meal, Severin took Dooku on a walk through the park, the two admiring the autumn leaves together. Enough leaves had fallen to make piles on the ground, and Severin decided to jump in a pile of leaves. Dooku thought Severin looked utterly ludicrous - and adorable - rolling around in the leaves. Then Severin said, "Come on, try it!"
Dooku laughed and shook his head no.
Severin blew a raspberry. "What are you, scared?"
Dooku's response was to jump in the pile of leaves next to Severin; enough leaves scattered that Severin got a faceful, and Severin just laughed before scooping up a handful of leaves and throwing it in Dooku's face.
The two spent the next while jumping in every leaf pile, throwing leaves at each other. When they had exhausted the leaf piles, they resumed walking through the park, until they came to a children's playground. Severin climbed up the slide and went down, and then again, and after the second time, took Dooku's hand and dragged him to the slide. Dooku climbed the steps and slid down, feeling ridiculous, but Severin's joy was infectious. They went down the slide another three times before Severin pulled him to the swing set. Severin sat on a swing, and began kicking the ground and pumping his legs, soaring higher and higher. "Bet you can't go higher," Severin called to him.
Dooku accepted the challenge, sitting on the swing next to him. As he pushed out, Severin swung back; as Severin swung out, Dooku sailed back. Dooku eventually got higher in the air than Severin, and Severin leaned back in the swing so he was almost upside down, yelling, "Wheeee!"
At last they stopped, and Severin walked Dooku back to his quarters, calling it an early night since Dooku had an early shift the next day. "I had fun," Dooku admitted. "Thank you."
Severin's response was to hug him, and when Severin pulled back, looking into his eyes and smiling, Dooku's breath caught.
Before this, he knew he found the doctor attractive, and enjoyed spending time with him, looking forward to his company. But now, he realized he'd fallen in love with Severin. There was no prohibition in Starfleet about getting involved with one's crewmates, but Dooku had always thought of the notion of crew fraternization as unprofessional. He quietly chastised himself as he got into his pajamas, this cannot and should not be.
That didn't keep him from masturbating to a fantasy of Severin before falling asleep, however.
The next time they saw each other, they watched a movie together, something different from their usual fare - Titanic, which had been wildly popular on Earth in the late 20th century. By the end of the movie, Dooku could feel Severin's pang of melancholy as he thought about his late wife and the destruction of his homeworld, though Severin was trying to keep himself together.
"I know," Dooku said, simply.
"Something I've been curious about, Yan... why aren't you married? The Betazoids have a custom where you should already be married by now, yeah?"
Dooku laughed into his tea. "Well... there is a custom of arranged marriage, yes. I was arranged to be married to the daughter of family friends, a Betazoid named Jocasta Nu."
Severin's eyebrow went up. "What happened?"
"I'm gay," Dooku said.
"Hi Gay, I'm Sev."
Dooku shot Severin a look; Severin wrinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue. Dooku rolled his eyes, and Severin said, "So, you prefer the company of men?"
"Theoretically. I've never had a relationship, only a bit of experimentation when I came of age. Enough to know where I stand."
Severin nodded. "So the marriage was called off, I take it?"
Dooku nodded. "She was relieved - she was in love with someone else. And my family and hers took it well."
"That's good, at least."
Dooku smirked. "Now my mother just nags me to find a boyfriend whenever I talk to her."
"Oh, dear." Severin chuckled.
"Your marriage wasn't arranged, was it?"
"No." Severin shook his head. "Our people don't do that, considering how long we live, no use being stuck with someone you don't really want to be with for the sake of producing offspring. Sarenya and I married out of love."
"What was she like?"
"Tough as nails. Strong. Fierce. She became one of the highest-ranked officers of El-Auria's military. All our medical doctors were trained as combat medics, which is how she and I met, I had to spar with her... I realized I was in love with her when she kicked my ass." Severin smiled fondly, remembering. "She was a real mama bear when it came to our kids - even after they were grown and could take care of themselves. And she was protective of me, too. I always felt safe with her. It was nice. But she wasn't all brawn - she was also very well-educated, very well-read. Intelligent, insightful. She had a good sense of humor... she'd have to have a sense of humor to put up with me that long. We made each other laugh. We weren't just partners, we were best friends."
"I can sense how much you loved her," Dooku said, "and you don't have to be a Betazoid to understand four hundred years with one person must be love."
"We loved each other very much, we never got tired of each other, for sure. But our people understand marriage differently than some other cultures - our marriage was open. We were strongly committed to each other, but we had lovers... sometimes we'd share them."
"There was never any jealousy?"
"Nah." Severin laughed. "Sarenya found it quite arousing to watch me with other men and women - and likewise."
Dooku almost spat his tea. He'd assumed Severin was heterosexual; here was an admission that Severin was bisexual. He felt a strange sense of relief at this, once again mentally cautioning himself this is not going to be a thing. He isn't even interested in me.
And then the latter thought was challenged as he drank the rest of his tea, and Severin showed him the watercolor painting he'd been working on lately - a painting of him. Dooku felt touched enough he had difficulty making words; Severin put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm glad you like it," Severin said.
"I'm glad you know I like it," Dooku said.
"Our people have a small amount of empathic ability, but not like yours," Severin said. "We're listeners, though. Listening isn't just about hearing what was said, but observing what is unsaid. The space between the words."
Their eyes met.
"I like to draw and paint things I find beautiful." Severin gave a small smile, and Dooku felt it then - it was an admission of attraction on Severin's end, something he'd been tightly shielding from Dooku's mind-reading capabilities until now... but he was placing the ball firmly in Dooku's court, leaving it up to him what to do with that information.
Dooku didn't do anything with it, still feeling like he'd be making a mistake to get involved with a crewmate, and he didn't want to jeopardize the only real friendship he had. So that night he went back to his quarters at his usual time, and over the next few weeks they continued to spend time together like nothing had changed.
_
The one-year anniversary of Wolf 359 came. Dooku felt inexplicably testy all day, having to stop himself from snapping at a lieutenant and the security chief for no good reason more than once. Though he was busy with his usual duties, his mind kept traveling back to that day aboard the Melbourne, facing down the Borg cube - the damage, the injuries, the captain screaming aboard the all-call to abandon ship.
It was worse when Captain Douglas Faraday called all the senior officers to assemble for a memorial - a protocol issued by Starfleet Command itself. The names of the dead aboard each of the forty vessels were recited by the computer, and then there was a moment of silence, to last for five minutes. Severin and Dooku were still the only two officers aboard the Trident who'd been in Wolf 359, and Severin discretely took his hand during the moment of silence, when the crew bowed their heads and closed their eyes to pay respects, whether to remember or offer prayers to whatever deities they believed in. Lieutenant Commander Yusuf Hamad, the ship's security chief, said softly, "As-salāmu ʿalaykum."
When the moment of silence was over, Hamad came up to Dooku and Severin and put a hand on each of their shoulders. "Peace be with you as well," he said. "I pray you continue to find healing after what you've been through." He took Severin's hand and shook it, and then took Dooku's hand and shook it, before walking off.
It was the first time anyone in the crew of the Trident other than Severin had offered kindness to him beyond professional courtesy, made more potent by the fact that Dooku had been cranky and abrupt with the security chief earlier that day - Dooku could feel the compassion and forgiveness in that gesture, and he found himself getting choked up. Severin, noticing his eyes were too bright, walked him out of the bridge; their shift was over now.
"I don't feel like going to the cantina tonight," Severin told him, "but I don't want to be alone tonight, either. You want to join me for dinner in my quarters?"
They picked at their food, both feeling too upset to eat. They did drink Saurian brandy together - one glass became two, and then three, and then four. When Dooku was into his cups, he stood up to go to the bathroom, and walking there, almost fell over - Severin caught him just before he could crash to the floor. "Whoa, easy there," Severin slurred.
Severin helped him to the bathroom, and then back to the couch, and once Dooku was sitting on the couch, he finally let out the tears he'd been holding in all day. Realizing this was the first time he'd let anyone see him cry since he was a child, he cried harder, and Severin held him close. When Dooku noticed Severin was crying too, Severin's pain amplifying his own, he cried harder still; the two of them held each other tight and rocked together, sobbing, letting out the grief and the rage, the fear that had followed them since that day, and the feeling of loneliness as two survivors, permanently scarred by something nobody else on the ship could understand.
After they'd been rocking each other for awhile, and were exhausted from the intense sobbing so the tears were subsiding some, Severin took a tissue from the box and wiped Dooku's tears. The tender gesture - something Dooku only had experienced as a child, from his own mother - made Dooku fall apart again. "Oh, Yan," Severin husked. He wiped the tears some more, and when that became a lost cause, the tissue falling apart from being soaked, Severin leaned in, and to Dooku's surprise, Severin began kissing his tears. Severin nuzzled him, their foreheads close, and their lips brushed.
Caught off-guard, Dooku stopped crying, and found himself responding, his lips parting. When their tongues met, they both groaned, and moaned again as the kiss deepened.
In what limited experience Dooku had, years ago, kissing had never been like that, where Dooku felt on the edge of coming just from kissing, the two kissing again and again. Severin's tongue swirling, rubbing his, made Dooku's mind wander with what else he could do with that tongue, and when Severin's kisses trailed down to Dooku's neck, Dooku's mind stopped wandering, not able to think at all, just want.
Severin's hand reached to gently rub the bulge in his uniform's trousers, and Dooku moaned, louder when Severin just licked his neck, up to his jaw. "We almost died, then," Severin whispered, "but we're still here. Let's live."
Dooku took Severin's face and kissed him hard and hungry, his own hand reaching to Severin's erection, then up Severin's torso, to rest on his heart. Severin took his hand and they helped each other stand up, and then, somehow, made it to the bedroom, kissing all the way. They feverishly undressed each other and once naked, took a moment to admire each other before coming close again, hard cocks rubbing together as they kissed and their hands roamed over each other's bodies, exploring, caressing, teasing.
They walked to the bed, still kissing, still keeping their bodies close, and climbed onto the bed together. They couldn't stop kissing, until at last they needed air. They looked into each other's eyes and Dooku said, "It's been a long time for me."
"It's been longer for me," Severin said. "Not since Sarenya..."
Dooku didn't let him finish that sentence. "Hush," he said, before kissing Severin deeply, wanting to take away his pain, wanting to soothe that terrible feeling of alone he'd carried with him for over a century.
Dooku had no small amount of skin hunger, having been celibate for a few years, but it was nothing compared to the way Severin was starved for touch. Dooku wanted to take his time and savor exploring Severin's body, give him all the touch he deserved, but there was too much need, their cocks already leaking precum, their balls aching for relief. When Severin stuck his precum-slick fingers in Dooku's mouth between kisses, something inside Dooku snapped - he needed more. He found himself on his knees to the side of Severin, quickly kissing and licking his way down Severin's sculpted body, before putting his head between Severin's legs, taking Severin's cock into his mouth. His own legs were over Severin's shoulders now, and he felt Severin pulling his hips, Severin's mouth swallowing down his cock. Dooku moaned approvingly with his mouth full, and Severin replied with "mmmmmm".
Dooku sucked Severin slowly, but the way Severin was sucking him hard and fast - the way Severin worked his tongue as he sucked - soon drove Dooku out of his mind with sensation, and lust for the beautiful cock he had in his mouth. He gave Severin the same treatment, and feeling Severin's pleasure intensified his own. When he felt Severin on that edge, his balls tightening, Dooku couldn't resist teasing just a little, taking Severin's cock out of his mouth to lick and suck Severin's balls, making Severin cry out. When he resumed sucking Severin's cock he gently rubbed Severin's balls, and then he felt Severin rubbing him the same way; Dooku started thrusting into Severin's mouth, not able to help himself. The pleasure was exquisite, almost unbearable. Severin sucked him even more eagerly than before, massaging his balls with one hand, rubbing the sensitive place between his balls and ass with the fingers of the other. Dooku's mouth took Severin's cock to the hilt, demonstrating his lack of gag reflex, and after a moment of deep-throating him he focused his attention on the head, kissing, licking, sucking, tongue playing with the foreskin and rubbing the frenum, Severin whimpering and writhing underneath him.
Dooku pushed into Severin's mind. I want to taste you.
With that, he concentrated on sucking down the shaft again, and Severin continued the sweet magic of rubbing his tongue as he sucked; Dooku trembled, his thighs quivering. The next few minutes felt like an eternity as they kept on that edge, needing to come, but not wanting to give in just yet, wanting more of the perfect pleasure, and the worship of each other's cocks.
And then, finally, it happened - Severin made a high-pitched moan of warning, and Dooku's mouth was flooded with salty sweetness. He took Severin's hands and shuddered as he let go, Severin moaning as Dooku filled his mouth, shooting again and again; he heard Severin splutter, there was so much of it, and then Dooku groaned as he felt Severin's tongue lap up what he couldn't get in his mouth, the licking giving him aftershocks. Dooku took a few last licks at Severin's cock, giving him aftershocks as well. Their mutual climax was the most erotic experience of Dooku's young life, and he almost got hard again thinking about it, but was too spent from the shattering intensity of it all.
So shattered was he, that when he came up to kiss Severin, sharing their combined flavor between them, he broke down crying again. It wasn't just the best blowjob he'd ever had, the most intense orgasm he'd had thus far, but it was the first time Dooku had sex where it wasn't just sex, there were feelings involved. He had tried to fight his feelings, but the alcohol had taken away that resolve to stay professional, and here they were in each other's arms, and he could feel Severin's feelings. They had acted in lust and hunger, but it was also tender and sweet - they'd taken care of each other. They were careful with each other.
Severin pulled him close, cradled Dooku's head to his chest, rocking him again, and pet his hair, pet his beard. "Shhhhh," he whispered. "Rest now." Their legs braided together.
After a few minutes of Severin's gentle touch, the rocking and soothing snuggles, listening to the beating of Severin's heart, Dooku felt himself drift off to sleep.