Chapter Text
On his lunch break, Severin sat down at his desk - even though he was supposed to be on break, he still reviewed case files on his PADD.
Or was trying to.
His thoughts kept drifting back to Dooku bringing in Lieutenant Ahsoka Tano, the warm caring side that managed to show beneath the frosty, professional exterior. He wasn't as much of the "Iceman" as he had once been, and seeing his concern and compassion for his crew was part of what Severin had loved about him.
Still loved. It was the worst possible timing for such an incident, to see one of the qualities Severin found so attractive, so loudly on display. Severin put down his PADD and facepalmed, trying to push away his feelings, regretting the day he took the offer to become chief medical officer of Starbase 24.
And then, a clearing of the throat. Severin startled, and when he opened his eyes he let out a sharp breath, relieved it wasn't Dooku.
Qui-Gon smiled at him, holding a food box that he set on Severin's desk and opened. "I brought you lunch again," he said.
It was the Eridani equivalent of another El-Aurian dish - meat dumplings, cabbage leaves stuffed with rice, and a spicy gourd and bean soup. Severin's face lit up and he impulsively took his great-grandson's hands and squeezed them. "Thank you," he said.
"You're welcome."
Severin had a spoonful of the soup and almost cried; it tasted virtually identical to the real thing. "This is so good."
"I'm glad you like it." Qui-Gon's smile broadened. Then he frowned, and Severin stopped before he could have another spoonful. Severin waited, and after a minute Qui said, "When I walked in you appeared... distressed. Is everything all right?"
"More or less," Severin said. "You know, the usual. Things are always kind of crazy around here." He shoved more soup in his mouth - he was hungry and it was incredible.
"Mmm. I haven't seen you at the arboretum in awhile, maybe you could take a little trip there and it might help you relax." A pause, and Qui added, "You and the Admiral. I know you went hiking together..."
Severin almost choked on the soup in his mouth. Qui gave him a concerned look. Severin quickly guzzled down some water.
"Too much heat?" Qui asked.
Severin tried to not splutter on the water - he knew Qui was asking about the soup, but his mind immediately thought of "heat" in a different sense... the lust he still felt for Dooku. "The amount of spice is fine," Severin told him. "Just... went down the wrong pipe." "Went down." "Pipe." Suddenly, Severin had the mental image of being down on his knees, Dooku's cock in his mouth; he tried to push that thought away.
"OK, good." Qui nodded. "Grandmother said you like your soup spicy, so I went with that. But back to the arboretum... you and the Admiral should plan another hiking date, I think. It would do you both some good."
"A... date." Severin felt himself scowling.
"An appointment to go hiking together. Or even just a stroll. Or sitting and appreciating nature. Both of you have busy schedules but I'm sure you could work something out -"
Severin still felt like Qui's choice of words wasn't so innocent, but he wasn't going to argue with him about it now. He simply nodded and said, "OK," and ate more soup.
Then Qui said, "Speaking of relaxing, and boosting morale... I had mentioned awhile back that I'd like to have a small celebration for us finding each other, especially when the odds of that happening are truly quite remarkable."
"Yes, you did mention that." Severin had another spoonful of soup.
"Obi-Wan and I were thinking - what about tomorrow night? At Ted's? You, the rest of the crew. Nothing major, but it would still be a fun get-together. Something the crew would enjoy, a nice little distraction. A reminder of hope, in these difficult times."
Severin felt awkward about the prospect of being in a social situation with Dooku for a couple hours, but he also knew that what his great-grandson was saying was true - it wouldn't be a bad pick-me-up for a crew that needed it right about now, still raw from the Klingon attack on the base.
Qui added, "I'll make a cake."
Severin couldn't help smiling at that. "I won't say no to cake, especially if you're making it."
_
The following evening, the senior officers and Qui-Gon gathered in Ted's. Qui had made a large sheet cake, chocolate with coconut pecan frosting. He'd also arranged for catering, with a table full of hors d'oeuvres and a punch bowl.
Dooku was the last to arrive - there was a stretch of time when Severin thought he might not make it at all - and tried to not make a scene as he entered, but it was hard for the six-four commanding officer of the starbase to go unnoticed.
"Good," Qui-Gon said. "Now that we're all here..."
Champagne was poured by a waiter for those who wanted it, and sparkling punch for those who didn't drink. Qui stood next to Severin, towering over him, and draped an arm around him. "I'd like to take a moment to express gratitude for finding a member of my blood family right here," Qui said. "I'm looking forward to continuing to get to know my great-grandfather, but so far what I have seen... I'm very proud to be descended from him."
Severin choked up, and patted Qui on the back. Then he cleared his throat and said, "I'm also grateful to find out I still have blood family around... not just Qui, but the discovery that his grandmother - my daughter - is alive and well on Alpha Eridani II. When this war is over, I'll be visiting her there." Severin swallowed hard then, feeling nervous about what he was about to say, but there was no point in hiding it. "I may possibly be going there to stay, if I like the planet well enough. But Qui, you're always welcome to visit, and in the meantime, I too am glad to get to know you, and am also very, very proud of you." He affectionately tousled his great-grandson's hair, making him laugh and blush, and then Severin raised his glass to the crew. Severin, Qui, and Obi-Wan clinked glasses, and the rest of the crew clinked glasses, and Severin knocked back champagne.
"You'd like it," Qui said quietly.
Severin didn't want to think that far ahead - indeed, he could barely predict what he'd be doing a day from now. He was getting antsy waiting for a return call from Krogh or his brother-in-law's contacts, wondering if the visit had been for nothing.
And he was especially antsy about Dooku, who was making an attempt to be social with the crew, though still noticeably awkward about it. Being around him was starting to feel like torture, with the intensity of the attraction that was still very much there, and which Severin knew Dooku no doubt knew about via his Betazoid empathy and telepathy.
But they'd been dancing around the issue because of course they would be. Severin bitterly remembered the way Dooku had ended things with him thirty-five years ago for the sake of duty. It was ridiculous entertaining any kind of fantasies or secret hopes. And yet there they were, and he hated it.
He hated him. Bringing him here after all this time, being so fucking handsome, and their attempt at friendship reminding him of why he'd fallen in love with him in the first place.
The house band at Ted's was playing Earth music from its 1980s, and their current song, "Waiting For A Star To Fall" by Boy Meets Girl, felt like a slap in the face.
I can't love you this much baby
And love you from this far
Severin took a deep breath and went over to the keyboardist, who he'd learned from the last get-together at Ted's would take requests and relay them to the band. He gave the keyboardist his request, and the man nodded and gave the thumbs up with his free hand. Severin then went to the bar for Ted to give him a refill on champagne.
When the song was over, Severin saw the keyboardist call the band over by the drum set and they talked among themselves. When the bassist, who was also the lead singer, got back to his mic, he said, "This one is for Doctor Yusanis. It's 'Shattered Dreams' by Johnny Hates Jazz."
The band started to play.
So much for your promises
They died the day you let me go
Caught up in a web of lies
But it was just too late to know
I thought it was you
Who would stand by my side
And now you've given me, given me
Nothing but shattered dreams, shattered dreams
Feel like I could run away, run away
From this empty heart
From across the room, Dooku gave Severin a withering look. Severin smiled and raised his glass.
Towards the end of the song, Severin went to the table of hors d'oeuvres and began to assemble a small plate of snacks - cheese, crackers, olives, stuffed mushrooms. He had finished his second glass of champagne and was keeping it at two. Dooku practically swooped down on him at the punch bowl, and the two just stood and looked at each other for a moment. Then Severin calmly poured himself a glass of punch. Before he could walk away, Dooku grabbed his wrist, standing close by so the rest of the crew couldn't see.
"I don't know what kind of game you're playing," Dooku said quietly.
"Game? Why would you think that?" Severin blinked slowly, giving Dooku a faux innocent look as he used a free hand to shove an entire cracker in his mouth.
Dooku watched Severin chew, and swallow, their eyes firmly locked. Then Dooku moved closer and said, even more softly, "So tell me... Doctor... do you make it a habit of fucking every commanding officer you have?"
Severin restrained a grin - seeing him with Kira had hit a nerve, and it was finally coming out. He felt a pang of guilt, not wanting to hurt Dooku, but at the same time, felt vindicated - serves you right, after breaking my heart. And, with the champagne having loosened his tongue, he gave into that feeling of vindication some more. "No," Severin replied. "Sometimes I fuck Klingons, too."
Dooku glared at him in silence, and Severin thought he might drop it, but the grip on his wrist tightened. Severin knew he'd hit below the belt, and for a moment he could barely breathe, wondering what Dooku would do next.
Dooku let go of his wrist - Severin noticed him shaking slightly - and Dooku took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "I think we ought to have a talk," Dooku said, still keeping his voice down.
"Yes. We're definitely overdue for having... a talk." Severin nodded, and nibbled on a piece of cheese. He held out his plate of hors d'oeuvres to Dooku, a polite gesture. "Tomorrow, perhaps."
"No. Perhaps now." Dooku's nostrils flared, and he gently pushed the plate back.
"Not here, in front of all these people -"
"My ready room, then."
Severin was surprised Dooku wanted to discuss things there rather than in his own quarters or Severin's, but then, Severin supposed Dooku might think the talk would end badly, and there would be less potential for a scene with the bridge so close by. Severin nodded, and then he said, "OK, let's be discrete about this."
He went over to Qui and Obi, handed the plate of hors d'oeuvres to Obi, hugged Qui, and said, "Thank you for all of this, but I gotta leave early. Can you save some cake for me, bring it to my office tomorrow?"
Qui frowned slightly, but nodded and hugged Severin back. "I can do that."
"Thank you."
Severin left Ted's, and sat on a bench a few meters away, waiting nervously. Approximately ten minutes later Dooku stepped out of Ted's, and there was another moment when they just paused, looking at each other from down the hall, before Dooku strode towards him.
They rode in the turbolift to the bridge in silence. Severin closed his eyes, trying to take deep breaths to calm the claustrophobia, but his anxiety was mounting. When they arrived at the bridge, Severin saw that he was shaking now as he came out of the turbolift. He glanced over his shoulder at Dooku, who was stone-faced, but his eyes betrayed him.
The bridge crew at this hour was sparse - Dooku was on-call if needed. The crew acknowledged him and the doctor as they walked through, and stepped out to the small hall that contained Dooku's ready room, and a conference room.
Dooku put in the access code and walked in, with Severin following behind him. The lights automatically went on. Severin expected Dooku to go to his desk, while he sat on the other side, but Dooku turned around and they just stood there in the doorway, looking at each other again.
Then the unthinkable happened.
Dooku slammed Severin up against the wall, took his face in his hands, and leaned down to kiss him hard. For a few seconds it didn't register what was happening - Severin couldn't believe it - and then he responded to the kiss with thirty-five years of pent-up passion, standing on his tiptoes, his arms instinctively locking around Dooku.
The kiss deepened, their tongues swirling, both men groaning into the kiss... and then Dooku bit Severin's lower lip, hard enough to draw blood. He nibbled on Severin's neck, making Severin cry out, and he seized a fistful of Severin's curls before licking his neck and using his teeth again, harder. "Is this what you want?" Dooku rasped.
Severin knew he'd seen the mental images of him getting fucked by Krogh, and knew Dooku knew he'd been fantasizing about him while it happened. Severin saw the ache in his eyes, mirroring his own. Severin was already hard, and he could feel Dooku's own hard-on pressed against him. Severin looked into those dark, hurt eyes, and he said, simply, "Yes."
Dooku kissed him again, and Severin ran his hands over him, shivering at the feel of his lean, muscular body, the steel hidden by the fabric of his uniform. His hands roamed up to Dooku's face, stroking the beard, enjoying the feel of his whiskers, wishing he could run his fingers through Dooku's chest hair -
- Dooku definitely picked up on that with his telepathy. He growled again; the growl made Severin's cock throb, and Severin could feel himself start to leak precum. Dooku tugged on the handful of Severin's curls that he held, marched him over to his desk, and bent Severin over it. Severin cried out as he was pushed down, ass out, and moaned when Dooku yanked down his trousers and briefs, exposing his backside. Severin cried out again when Dooku slapped his ass, and began grinding against the desk, feeling like he was in heat.
"Do you want me to stop?" Dooku ground out.
"No," Severin said, truthfully, wiggling his ass at him.
Dooku groaned, and then Severin felt Dooku's hard cock rubbing in the crack of his ass. Severin almost came right then and there, pushing his ass out more, hoping Dooku would get the message that he wanted it in him, now -
Dooku grabbed Severin's hair again. "You're sure you want this?"
"Fuck yes."
Dooku spanked his ass again, and then Dooku stopped rubbing against him, making Severin whine in protest. Severin watched as Dooku came around the other side of his desk to the replicator behind it - an almost comical sight with Dooku's trousers around his ankles, but the sight of his hard cock made Severin even crazier. Dooku told the replicator, "Personal lubricant, warm," and they watched as a small cup of clear liquid appeared.
Dooku came back around the desk, behind Severin. He shoved two lubricated fingers in him, finding the prostate right away. "Oh, fuck!" Severin cried out, and as Dooku rubbed his fingers inside him, Severin worked his hips, fucking his fingers, wanting it as badly as he'd ever wanted anything in his life.
Two fingers became three, and then Severin felt the head of Dooku's cock at his opening. Dooku pushed in just the tip, and then went in slowly as Severin took deep breaths, adjusting to the length and thickness. Even though he'd taken Krogh's cock a few days ago, it had been the first real cock he'd had in some time, and Dooku was not small. Dooku could feel the tightness around him, moaning, and once he was all the way in, he gave a few shuddery gasps and observed, "You haven't been that active, have you?"
"Fuck me," was all Severin would say in response.
Dooku grabbed his hair again and showed him no mercy, taking him as hard as Krogh had fucked him - harder, even. Severin loved it, rocking his hips back at Dooku, fucking himself on Dooku's cock just as much as Dooku was fucking him. Dooku still fit perfectly inside him, hitting his prostate just right. Dooku's free hand came around to stroke Severin's cock, and Severin cried out again.
The hand that was in his hair slapped his ass, and Severin moaned. "Yes, yes, more..." he panted.
Dooku growled, and Severin felt his balls tightening, ready to explode, but fuck he needed to be fucked, needed to keep this going, needed to feel him...
"Yan..." It was his fantasies made flesh. "Yan... Yan... oh, fuck, Yan, fuck me..."
Dooku groaned, and fucked Severin even harder, pounding into him now, the slap of their flesh as loud as their moans. Dooku's balls slapped against Severin's, and Severin felt himself right on that edge, so close.
"Yan!" Severin grabbed the edge of the desk, white-knuckled. "Yan... Yan! Fuck me! Fuck me hard..."
Dooku was getting more vocal, deep grunts and groans as he continued slamming into Severin. Severin was whimpering now, and making sharp little cries, so ready, so needy, but wanting to completely drown in sensation, connection...
And then Dooku's thumb was rubbing his frenulum, and he couldn't hold back anymore, the rubbing of his prostate, frenulum, and the smacking against his sensitive balls too exquisite. "Yan!" Severin let out a howl as he climaxed, shooting all over Dooku's desk.
One, two, three jabs, and Dooku let out a wordless cry as he gave into his own release. Severin screamed as he felt Dooku shooting inside him, another surge of pleasure rocking him, more cum spurting out of him, his ass throbbing and clenching around Dooku's pulsing cock. It was one of the most intense orgasms Severin had ever experienced, if not the most intense.
Dooku moaned again, and his hands left Severin's cock and hair. He steadied himself against Severin, who could feel him trembling with the force of his release.
Severin buried his face in his arms, feeling like he was made of jelly and would fall on the floor any minute. When Dooku slid out of him, Severin heard himself whine, feeling empty. He continued to keep his eyes closed, everything spinning and floating, though he heard Dooku rummaging in his desk, and then he felt Dooku shove a towelette in his hand.
Severin leaned on the desk to stand up, and wiped at his cock, and then the cum mess in his ass, though he didn't get it all, and frankly didn't want to get it all. Dooku was already putting his briefs and trousers back on, and Severin did the same.
Dooku calmly sat at his desk and steepled his hands, frowning into them, looking too deep in thought. And as Severin stood there, before he too could attempt to sit down, the heat of passion gave way to clarity.
This man broke your heart thirty-five years ago. What makes you think he won't do it again, especially with the war being even worse this time around?
As badly as Severin had wanted - needed - that fuck... as good as it was, as hard as he'd come... looking into Dooku's eyes now, Severin felt like he'd made the biggest mistake of his life. He'd had a hard enough time dealing with that first breakup, letting himself love again after he'd lost everything. He wasn't prepared to go through that again.
Their eyes met, and Dooku opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say a word, Severin straightened his shirt and said, "This doesn't change anything."
And then he turned on his heel and walked out, regretting those words, regretting walking away, just as much as he regretted giving in.
This is just how it has to be.