Chapter Text
“For all of her threats, I think the other La’an might actually trust us,” Maya said as she skimmed through files on the computer console, testing just how much access she and La’an had. “They have fewer restrictions than Albrecht did the last time I was on this ship…the other version of this ship…and Albrecht wanted to trust me even though she knew she shouldn’t.” Maya began to feel unwell. The Albrecht from her universe was dead in part because Maya had betrayed her optimistic trust, and though she hadn’t yet spoken a word to this Albrecht, she had a feeling that this wasn’t the same warm, gentle woman.
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Maya. These people are violent and paranoid, I’m sure they have all manner of secret surveillance. I’d recommend even being careful in what we talk about to one another.”
“Right, of course,” Maya dismissed La’an’s warning, eyes still focused on the computer console. “Come here, I want you to try something.” La’an complied, taking a few steps to stand behind Maya and look over her shoulder. “Try to access anything restricted. Seriously, anything. Ship systems, life support, anything you can think of.”
“Whatever you have in mind, Maya, I don’t think it’s a good idea to hack into their systems. I’m sure our usage is being monitored.”
“I haven’t hacked anything yet, and I don’t need to. La’an, you’re an admiral here. You have the same security clearance, the same voice, the same fingerprints and retinal scans. If you had the right uniform, you could pass as her if you wanted to.” Maya stepped away from the computer to give La’an space to work, but La’an did not take it. Maya began to pace, in a sense of frenzy of energy that La’an had not yet seen. “We could take control of the ship easily.”
“To what end, Maya? We have no goal, we have no way of knowing what our goal even should be or for what reason Q sent us here, or how to get back where we belong. The best course of action is to lay low, stay safe, and try to lessen our impact on this universe.”
Defeated, Maya sat on the bed and collapsed back. The day had been a draining one, and La’an’s reluctance drained the frenetic energy that allowed her to power through. “What do you mean, ‘lessen our impact?’”
“Maybe it doesn’t even apply in this situation, but I’d rather err on the side of caution. Starfleet has strict regulations about interference in the affairs of new cultures or temporal displacement. Technically, this alternate universe is neither.” La’an hated to discourage Maya’s sudden burst of active motivation, but as things stood now it seemed like a futile effort.
“So you want to sit back and wait quietly until some unknown opportunity presents itself?” Maya answered with a heavy sigh.
“Not quite. I’m going to take this time to research this Terran Empire and see if anything proves enlightening. Even if they are monitoring us that closely, innocent curiosity is a reasonable alibi.” La’an took a step toward the computer console and began to browse through some files, searching for historical databases.
“The other La’an said that people have come over from our universe before.” Maya was still full of frenetic energy, speaking quickly and starting to pace the room “You can access all of the classified files that she can, what if the records have any information on how they got here?”
“I’ll look into it, but only if I’m confident I can cover my tracks.”
There was a chime at the door. “Come in,” La’an answered.
The door slid open, and Captain Albrecht stepped inside and gave a Terran salute. “I don’t usually do this sort of work on my own.” The door closed behind her. “But the admiral insists on secrecy, so it seemed unwise to send one of my security officers in my place. Your counterparts wish to consult with you.”
As Captain Albrecht led the pair through the corridors of the Portland, Maya felt an overwhelming sense of distress. She had walked the corridors of an identical ship twice before under very different circumstances. The first time she did things she would come to regret deeply, the second time she tried to set those wrongs right but nearly broke herself in the process.
Maya kept her composure until the three of them were alone in the turbolift. She couldn’t help herself from thinking about the Albrecht from her world, the one who died because of her actions (though not by her hand). Maya hadn’t spoken with this captain enough to have a sense of how she differed from the Vivienne Albrecht that she knew. Just thinking about it made her heart ache.
“Maya,” Albrecht said, both coldness and curiosity in her eyes. “Why do you seem so nervous around me?”
Maya said nothing.
“Does it have to do with the other version of me?” Albrecht asked, her voice disarmingly playful.
Again, Maya said nothing.
Albrecht leaned close. She was the same height as Maya, but something about her presence made it feel as though she towered over her. “Something she did to you?”
“Something I did to her.” Maya looked away and spoke softly.
“Oh?” Albrecht still had that twisted sense of playful curiosity. “What sort of thing did you do to her? I’d love to know.”
“Captain Albrecht stand down!” La’an snapped.
All of the playfulness was gone from Captain Albrecht, replaced instead with anger. “Let me remind you that you have no authority here. Your counterpart may be an admiral, but you are nothing more than a foreigner whose usefulness is yet to be determined.”
After Albrecht led them into the ready room, where the Terran Maya and La’an were waiting, she gave them a Terran salute. The two women rose from their seats and saluted the captain back. The Terran Maya never took her eyes off her double.
“Well,” The Terran La’an spoke. “This is your home now. You should observe our customs.”
Maya and La’an exchanged a nervous look before they gave their closest imitation of the salute.
“Needs practice, but that’s to be expected.” The Terran La’an sat down, and all others present followed her lead. “I need to know the fundamental differences between your world and ours.” She turned her attention to Maya. “My Maya has been frustratingly evasive every time I ask about how she managed to kill and usurp Khan. I’m sure the details differ, but I’m hopeful that you might be more agreeable.”
“Our universes aren’t as similar as you might think.” Maya had calmed a bit, but was still nervous to look at Captain Albrecht. I never took my father’s place, and while I set into motion actions that led to his death, I didn’t kill him.” She looked to Albrecht. “She did.” A moment of silence as everyone gathered looked toward Captain Albrecht. Maya turned her own attention back to her Terran counterpart. “How did you do it, though? I’m surprised you were able to pull it off, with all of the disadvantages we each had living among the augments.”
“I had no disadvantages!” the Terran Maya shouted as she sprang to her feet.
“You’re lying! I bet you’re lying about killing him too!”
“I don’t have the patience for any of this, stop it!” The Terran La’an commanded. She barely raised her voice, but spoke so boldly that both of the younger women instantly fell silent. “We are en route to Ceti Alpha V. We will be forming a team of augments who I was led to understand are loyal to Maya, and they will assist us in taking back the Terran Empire from Spock. If there has been any deception, I suggest you come clean now because the truth will come out in time. If there are no further questions, you are all dismissed.”
“Understood, Admiral.” Albrecht replied. “I will escort our guests back to their quarters.”
“Wait…” The Terran Maya called. “I need to speak privately with…myself.”
“We’ll wait outside.” The Terran La’an answered. “Don’t take too long.”
Once the door was shut behind them, the Terran Maya walked around the table like a shark circling its prey. She didn’t speak until she stood uncomfortably close to her counterpart, who instinctively backed away.
“You know, you intrigue me.” the Terran Maya began.
“I could have guessed that from the start.”
“You also frighten me.”
“If I frighten you, it’s because the truth frightens you. You haven’t told anyone that you’re only half augment, have you? Are you scared that your new friends are going to think less of you just like everyone else?”
“No, not that, and I think I’m entitled to a bit of privacy regarding my personal details.” the Terran Maya took a moment to pause and study her double. “It’s when I look at you, something is broken. Like everything that filled me with rage filled you with sorrow.”
“We aren’t the same person, no matter how much we seem to be alike. But…did you really do it? And how?”
The Terran Maya nodded. “I’d like to keep a few secrets, but, yes. I did. With some help from Suzette, my mother, Katya…”
Maya had no words. This started off like a wild nightmare, but now it just might turn into a beautiful dream. She forgot any curiosity she had about her double, any desire to take control of her situation and find a way home.“They’re still alive in this universe?”
The Terran Maya nodded. Her counterpart was so overwhelmed with grief, shock, and somehow hope that the room began to spin and she collapsed back into her seat. The Terran Maya stepped behind her and gently placed her hands on her shoulders to comfort her. “I’m sorry to hear your universe hasn’t been so kind to you. I’ve had my own hardships, but things are finally turning around. La’an is going to endorse me as emperor, and if you cooperate you will be at my side.”
Maya froze as a shiver went down her spine. “I should go. I need to rest.”
“Consider it.”
Maya didn’t look back once she stepped out of the ready room and joined Captain Albrecht and La’an. She walked with them in silence, her heart racing and breath shallow as she walked back through the ship, but she tried her best to hide any outward signs of distress. She kept her composure until she and La’an were safely back inside in their quarters, where she collapsed on the bed and closed her eyes. Even with eyes shut, the room was spinning. Concerned, La’an rushed to her side and sat on the edge of the bed.
“What did she tell you?” La’an asked softly.
“Nothing important.” Maya’s eyes were still closed. “And everything…I don’t know how to start.” She took a few deep breaths before she opened her eyes, but she still did not look at La’an. “Albrecht isn’t the only person who’s still alive here, La’an. Some of the people who I actually cared about, including my mother and my old lover.”
La’an’s heart jumped. She had lived through almost this exact scenario, to fall for someone in one reality, to lose them, and to be haunted by a stranger with their face. That was decades ago, and until this very moment, La’an thought that she had moved on. She had shed her tears and allowed herself to heal, but wounds of the heart are easily reopened.
“”Maya…”La’ans voice was soft and weak as she searched for the right words to say that could do justice to her twisted up feelings without revealing too much. She had disclosed this secret before, but wasn’t sure if this situation was enough to justify doing it again. “I can’t share any details, but I need you to trust and believe me when I say that I have lived through something very similar, and that the advice I give comes from my own experience and mistakes.” La’an spoke with weight behind her words.
Maya opened her eyes and slowly sat up.
La’an paused before she went on, carefully considering each word. “Your loved ones aren’t alive out there. These are different people, no more like the people you cared about than the other versions of ourselves are to us. Ignore whatever your heart is telling you, these are separate people, and to get them mixed up will only hurt you.”
Maya looked away and took a few deep breaths before she responded. “You’ve been in Starfleet for ages, I’m sure you’ve seen people die.” She didn’t wait for a response. “People you cared about? Have you watched powerlessly as the one person who meant the most to you died?”
Silence. La’an looked away and nodded. She had survived that exact scenario as a child.
“Then maybe show some understanding when I’m trying to find some closure.
“I still don’t think you seek them out,” La’an said with a sigh as she rose to her feet. “Do whatever you need to do to work through your feelings. I want to make good use of the time we have and learn more about this Terran Empire. I can do it on my own if you need space, but you are a faster reader and learner than I am.”
“Am I really?” There was a hint of disbelief in Maya’s voice, but also of hopeful optimism. This was a young woman who wanted praise but felt undeserving.
“Yes, and I can’t stand that you don’t believe it.”
“It’s like…there are all these branches, but they intersect at certain points with our history before they branch off again.” Maya didn’t look away from the screen as she spoke, eyes scanning each line of text rapidly. La’an hadn’t said a word, simply looking over Maya’s shoulder and struggling to keep up. “Does that make any sense?”
“I understand what you’re trying to explain, but I’m at a loss for specific examples. You outpaced me in the third paragraph.”
“And I’m sure there are more examples that I’ve missed because I still have so many gaps in my knowledge of Earth’s history. Here’s one, First Contact with the Vulcans. It’s almost exactly the same. Zefram Cochrane’s first warp flight was on the same day. The same Vulcan ship visited, but instead of welcoming them Cochrane killed them.”
“Jump ahead to more recent history, I want to know more about the current political climate.:”
“Several centuries of conquest, regular uprising from conquered worlds…Oh. It’s Spock.”
Maya stopped scrolling when she reached a photograph of a familiar Vulcan. He wasn’t, however, identical to the man they knew. This one had grown a beard.
“Spock rose to power recently,” Maya continued. “Whoever wrote this doesn’t seem to care for him, or his reforms.”
“Not surprising. I’ll review it in my own time, but I’m sure it;s horribly biased. If only we could get a more balanced take.”
Maya stopped scrolling and rose to her feet. “We can, though. The ship’s doctor is a Vulcan. She’s bound to have a more impartial view.”
“The ship’s doctor on the Portland from our universe was a Vulcan.” La’an corrected “We can’t be sure just how much our timelines have converged, not when people have lived in one universe and died in another.”
A half smile appeared on Maya’s face. “Check the crew manifest, Admiral, this should be easy enough to confirm.”
“No.” La’an shook her head and stepped back. “No, I don’t like this at all. It isn’t worth the risk. Nobody on board is supposed to know we even exist.”
“They said that, but what have they done to enforce it? There’s no guard outside the door, you can use the admiral’s security clearance to open the door, if anyone sees me, they’ll probably assume that I’m the other Maya. I can imitate her well enough if I need to, she acts like my brother used to.”
“You would need a plausible reason for going to sickbay.”
“Did you see her left arm? She’s had the same injuries I have and probably hates physical therapy as much as I do.”
“And an excuse to question the doctor about Terran society,”
“I want an accurate view of my future subjects.”
La’an looked down and rubbed her temples. “I need to think about this.”
“Will I never be good enough for you either?” Maya hadn’t raised her voice, but she threw her hands in the air and backed away. “When I needed rest, you constantly pushed me to be more active and motivated, and now that I am trying to take action, you’re begging me to sit on my hands.”
La’an fell silent and rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m sorry. It’s not a bad idea, really. Just think it through a little more. We can discuss it.”
Eventually, Maya and La’an came to an agreement, with contingencies upon contingencies. Maya found that the layout of the Terran Portland was the same as the Portland that she had experienced. She did cross paths with the crew and found that it was sufficient to offer a stern look and a Terran salute. She encountered no resistance until she reached sickbay.
There she saw the same Vulcan doctor, with the same neatly braided black hair who greeted her with the Terran salute. Maya tried to keep a stern look on her face as she returned the salute.
“I would like another examination of my left shoulder, Doctor,” Maya demanded, trying to speak with the same gravitas that she heard her counterpart and her brother use.
“Of course,” The Vulcan doctor answered with a nod.
Maya perched on the edge of the nearest bio bed, her spine straight and shoulders tense as she began to fear that maybe there might be something that medical tricorder would pick up to reveal a difference between herself and her Terran counterpart.
“I don’t mean to criticize your choices, Maya.” The Vulcan doctor Maya remembered from her universe had been so much bolder. With each other person in this reality being the nastiest version of themselves, it was especially alarming to see that this universe’s version of Doctor T’Ralia was so meek. “But the pain and weakness you are experiencing are part of the healing process, which can be mitigated with regular mild exercises.”
Maya nodded. “Nothing worth having is easy, I suppose. May I ask you some…sensitive questions?”
T’Ralia froze but spoke freely “You are at liberty to ask anything you please.”
“I’m meant to rule this empire, but I understand so little about it. Please, I want honesty, and anything you share will be kept with the same degree of confidence as you have with your patients.”
T’Ralia nodded but said nothing. The T’Ralia that Maya knew had all the same Vulcan coldness, but at least was more responsive.
“What do you think of Spock’s reforms?”
“He is abandoning Terran tradition too quickly.”
“That’s not what I expected to hear from a Vulcan.I thought his reforms were meant to help you and the other non-Terrans..”
“To be frank, Maya, it seems to me as though you are trying to persuade me into giving a certain answer.”
“Maybe.” Maya conceded. “But it’s been a challenge for La’an and I to get a feel for where we stand. She hasn’t had her eyes set on conquest until very recently, and I only want an objective view too.”
“Does everyone aboard this ship have the same favorable view of Captain Albrecht and her choices?”
“I can’t answer that.”
“Cant or wont?”
“Does it matter, when I’m trying to take control of my subjects? What do you think of Spock and his reforms?”
Doctor T’Ralia fell silent and looked away.
“Again, anything you say is in confidence. I wouldn’t forget the doctor who fixed my injured arm. I don’t blame you for keeping your opinions private, but what do you know of the crew?”
“Captain Albreacht would have a more accurate account of the crew and where they stand.”
“I’m afraid not. She wants to give the impression that she has unyielding control, and I don’t blame her. I want a sense of reality.”
“There are members of the crew who are more in favor of Spock’s reforms.” T’Ralia answered, “While I don’t align myself with any side, I am reluctant to give name and details, for fear of my own safety. I can tell you that they haven’t been discreet. Look and listen for anyone who challenges Captain Albrecht, they likely support Spock as well,”
“And what of the general population? Do they favor Spock?”
T’Ralia hesitated, her eyes wide as she thought to formulate a safe,diplomatic answer. “Opinions vary wildly, but the people with the most power have the most uncharitable views. Assassination attempts are a regular occurrence. Among non-Terrans, however, Spock is a hero. His policies ensure their equitable treatment, where previously the people from conquered worlds were subjugated.”
“Doctor, it almost sounds to me like you favor Spock after all.”
T’Ralia froze. “No. My opinions do not align with the majority of non-Terrans. You asked for an impartial explanation,which I have given.The Empire has treated me well. My loyalty lies with Captain Albrecht, with Admiral La’an,and with you.”
“Thank you for that reassurance. And if you do decide to share any names of the dissenting crew members, please let me know.”
Maya left sickbay feeling both triumphant and frustrated with herself. There could be possible allies on this ship, but she had possibly set up a trap for them without realizing it. She wasn’t thinking about her double when she spoke to Doctor T’Ralia, and it hadn’t occurred to her until it was too late that the doctor might give those names to the wrong Maya.
As she walked back to her quarters, Maya ruminated on her new knowledge, trying to think of how she could put it to use. She was absorbed in her own mind so deeply that at first she didn’t realize it, when she turned a corner and stood in front of the woman with the same face as hers.
With long, steady strides, the Terran Maya closed the space between them. Maya inched back until she found herself backed up against a wall, and her heart began to race.
“Bold of you to be wandering about the ship when you know your existence is supposed to be a secret.” she purred.
“Captain Albrecht should have taken more precautions, then. I didn’t think she had anything in common with the Albrecht from my universe, but it seems they’re both too trusting.”
“And what about you and I?” The Terran Maya pressed one hand against the wall next to her counterpart’s head. “What would you say we have in common?”
“I haven’t given you a moment’s thought.” She answered with venom in her voice. “But I’d say you’re more like my brother than like me. You’re self-absorbed, mercurial, and manipulative.”
“And so are you.” She paused to let the other version of herself take in this information, a twisted grin on her face. “I think I’ve got you figured out. You’re just as manipulative as I am, but where I overpower people, you bend them to your will by making them pity you.”
“You don’t know me!” Maya tried to dash away, but the Terran Maya grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her closer.
“I know what I need to know. Didn’t you spend your childhood dreaming of leaving Ceti Alpha V and having all of the power and luxury you knew you deserved? Weren’t you told every day that you deserved to rule the stars?”
“I used to long for that, before I realized that I would never be good enough.” She looked down, speaking softly.
“And how sad that you simply admitted defeat. I hope you continue to consider my offer. We have great potential that shouldn’t be wasted. Go. We’ll have to make a tricky explanation if anyone sees that there are two of us.”
Maya returned to her quarters to find La’an focused on the computer console. She looked up from her work and turned toward Maya. “Well?”
“Good news and bad news.” Maya sat on the bed, still feeling as though she had been pushing herself too hard today without taking enough time to rest and recover. “More people approve of Spock than those history records led us to believe. I think Doctor T’Ralia might be in favor of him too, but she didn’t say it directly.”
“And the bad news?”
“I ran into the other Maya, so I suspect we might face more restrictions soon.”
La’an sighed. “Then I need to read these files quickly, before the Admiral finds a way to lock me out of this classified information.” She went back to work, silently reading.
“La’an…” Maya asked. “Do you think I’m manipulative and mercurial?”
La’an did not look away from the computer. “I have taught hundreds of cadets near your age. Everyone under the age of twenty six is manipulative and mercurial. Anyway, The details are hazy, but I did find out more about the other times our universes crossed over. The first…I can hardly make sense of it, there’s references to some technology that I have never heard of. The second involved the crew of the Enterprise and occurred due to a very specific transporter accident. No mention of Q anywhere, and I’ve never heard of them in our universe either.”
“So we have to replicate that transporter accident?” Maya guessed.
“I’m not entirely sure that’s possible.” La’an skimmed back through the document as she replied. “These were very specific circumstances, I don’t know if they can be reproduced,and I certainly don’t know how it could be done”
“So…maybe Q is our only hope? He called it a gentleman’s bet, whether humans are inherently good. If we can satisfy the conditions of the bet and prove that we have intrinsic morality.”
“You describe a task that is both vague and impossible,” La’an rolled her eyes.
“Is it, though. The Terrans finally have a benevolent leader whose life and legacy is in danger. If we save Spock, we save the Terrans, prove ourselves to Q, and get sent home in time to see Titus Andronicus.”
“This sounds too far fetched.” La’an shook her head. “The transporter is a safer bet.