Chapter Text
2293
Maya Noonien-Singh had lost count of the number of times her life had been in danger, walked into situations she didn’t expect to walk out of, and laughed in the face of death. Yet, she had never been more frightened than she was now, moments away from a meeting with a panel of Starfleet Academy admissions staff that would determine her future.
She was unusually polished and well-pressed for the occasion, bearing little resemblance to the wild half-augment who grew up in the wilderness of Ceti Alpha V. Her dark hair was tamed in a low, sleek bun, and she wore a simple burgundy dress and black pumps. She stood outside the door with La’an and offered her a nervous smile. Normally, due to her status within Starfleet Academy, La’an would be present on such a panel, but this time she had to recuse herself for fear that she could not offer impartial judgment for the young woman she had a guardianship over for nearly two years.
“Any final advice?” she asked.
“Be honest, and think before you speak. Tact is not a strength of yours.” Even though she offered a piece of criticism, La’an spoke with kind encouragement. “If they were going by qualifications alone, this would be an easy choice. What you have to do is prove that any other doubts they have are unfounded.”
Maya’s smile grew. “You make it sound so simple/”
The door slid open, earlier than Maya expected. She gasped and turned her head suddenly, and La’an calmed her by placing a hand on her shoulder to calm her.
“It doesn’t need to be complicated. Good luck Maya.”
Maya stepped inside, and the door slid shut behind her. She clasped her hands behind her band and stood tall, trying to appear confident even though her heart was racing and she was beginning to wonder if it was too late to give up on everything.. Across the room from her at a long table sat five officers who wore admiral insignia on their uniforms. Maya recognized one of them, Benoit LeFevre, from her escape from Ceti Alpha V. If she was frightened before, now she was terrified.
“Maya Noonien-Singh,” began the admiral who sat in the center of the row, a woman with long straight hair that was mostly gray but still had a few dark brown streaks. “A pleasure to finally meet you. I am Admiral Chin-Riley. Allow me to introduce Admirals Gu, Park, and Linzer. I understand that you’ve already met Admiral LeFevre.”
“I have,” Maya was defensive and firm. “And I have a few concerns about his presence here.”
“Such as?” Chin-Riley asked.
“If La’an could not be present due to concerns over impartiality, then LeFevre shouldn’t be here either. He didn’t trust me,and he was in favor of killing every augment on Ceti Alpha V, including young children.”
“Maya…” Chin-Riley interrupted with a sigh. “Admiral LeFevre would not be here if there was any question of his impartiality. He might have doubts about you, but was also very impressed by your accomplishments.”
Wonderful. Barely past the introductions, and, true to form, she had already made a mess of everything. Maya looked down for a moment and then glanced at LeFevre. “Then I owe you an apology, Admiral LeFevre.” LeFevre simply nodded.
“With that settled, I’d like to get straight to the matter at hand.” Chin-Riley glanced briefly at the notes on her PADD. “Under normal circumstances, you would be admitted without question. You have outstanding test scores and glowing letters of recommendation from Admiral Noonien-Snigh, Doctor McCoy, and Captain Kirk.”
“Captain Kirk?” Maya couldn’t help but interrupt, her eyes wide with surprise for several reasons. He had been an admiral when they first met, but more surprising than his change in rank was that he had gone out of his way to do something kind for her when he had seemed just as hostile toward the Augments as LeFevre. Her heart ached to know it was too late to thank him or ask him why he had this change of heart.
“Yes, Captain Kirk. At any rate, as you know, your circumstances are not normal, and so…”
“My circumstances are not that different from your own, Admiral,” Maya answered. Chin-Riley kept her composure, but LeFevre and Park leaned back and gave Maya an incredulous look. “Except that I’ve been open about my genetic status from the start, and I can hardly be called genetically engineered when I inherited every trait from my parents naturally, and only one of them was augmented.”
“Your status as an augment will not be held against you,” Chin-Riley answered. “For the reasons you mentioned and also because the new precedent is to consider such individuals on a case by case basis. What we are considered with, Maya, are your actions.”
“Go on.” That would be more difficult to defend. She reminded herself of La’an’s advice to be honest, for she had already failed in being tactful.
“You used lies and deception to earn the trust of Captain Albrecht to attempt to take control of the USS Portland.” LeFevre began before glancing back at his own notes. “And in this attempt you also tampered with Starfleet equipment, assaulted Starfleet officers, and helped Khan’s augments take control of the ship. Why?”
“Admiral Chin-Riley,” Maya pleaded. “You said that LeFevre was impressed by what I did.”
“I am.” LeFevre continued. “I just want to know why.”
Maya studied the panel before her and took a deep breath. There was no way to answer truthfully and cast herself in a favorable light. “Because I wanted to earn my father’s approval.”
“So you acted of your own volition?” Linzer pressed.
“Yes…but not entirely!” Maya took a deep breath to gather her thoughts. “There were many choices I made that were not entirely my own. My father was manipulative and emotionally abusive.” It still didn’t feel right to describe him in that way, even if it was true. He had been unkind but had never hurt her. “It was a regrettable choice to preserve my safety.”
Chin-Riley made another note before she replied. “Regrettable is an understatement, but unless you were truly under duress I don’t think…”
“And what about the sacrifices I made to set it right?” Maya tried to remain tactful, but couldn’t help but feel defensive. She felt her fists curl into fists. “Did LeFevre say anything about how I let myself be made into a biological weapon, infected with an untested virus that could have killed me? How I risked my life and returned to the Portland after my actions made me a traitor to my people to spread the virus? How weakening the Augments in that way allowed the surviving crew to escape, or how I didn’t fully recover for a year?”
“That was all in your file, but not relevant to the topic of this meeting.” Park answered.
“So the topic is my flaws but not my virtues?” Maya clasped her hands behind her neck and let out a long breath to steady herself.
“Maya, please calm down.” Chin-Riley spoke firmly yet calmly. “The purpose of this meeting is to assess the nature of your moral compass.”
“I know that nothing can undo any wrongs I may have done, but I was also told that it’s never too late to start making the right choices. At least give me the opportunity.”
“And I can assure you, Maya, that everything will be taken into consideration.” Chin- Riley glanced to the colleagues on her left and right. “If there are no further questions I’d like to conclude this meeting. There were a few nods of approval. “Thank you, Maya, for your time. You should have an answer soon.”
“And thank you, Admirals, for your time.
Outside the door, La’an waited with an eager look on her face, but before she could ask Maya how it went, Maya rushed past her.
“Maya!” La’an called, but Maya did not slow down. La’an walked at a clipped pace to keep up, and still no response as she followed down the hall and out the door. Once outside, Maya stopped to kick off her shoes and pick them off the ground. “Maya, talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to say.” With her free hand, Maya began to furiously pull the pins from her hair. “This was a stupid idea, and a waste of time, just like every idea I’ve ever had.”
“Don’t overreact, it can’t have been that bad. You weren’t rejected outright, were you?”
“Not officially, but I think their minds were already made up.”
“But you have no way of knowing. No need to admit defeat so soon.” La’an tried to offer a kind smile.
Maya leaned her head back to look up at the sky. “I suppose I’ve found hope in bleaker situations. Even in the worst case I haven’t lost anything.”
After two anxious days Maya settled back into her usual routine, or as much routine as she had in her aimless life. Her daily schedule at least found a predictable rhythm: she slept late, went on some sort of outing in the afternoon (more to please La’an than herself) and stayed up late “studying.” Sometimes what she called study was truly an academic pursuit, but often that was how she referred to her voracious consumption of literature and music. One week later, Maya had nearly forgotten about her nightmare of a meeting at Starfleet academy, until one afternoon when Maya hadn’t bothered to go on her usual outing. Instead she spent the afternoon sitting at the table, engulfed in study. Several PADDs were strewn on the table around her, each with a different topic: a Jane Austen novel, an organic chemistry textbook, a diagram of the lifecycle of Alaskan salmon.
When La’an came home Maya did not look up from her work until La’an stood just behind her and looked over her shoulder. “Is this what you’ve been working on today?”
Maya nodded. “This is everything. I slept longer than I meant to.”
“You might want to start getting used to rising earlier. I shouldn’t say anything because it hasn’t been made official, but I spoke to Una today…”
Maya sprang up from her seat. “And?” She kept on hand gripped tightly on the back of her chair.
“However terribly you might think your interview went, you must have said something right. Only Admiral Linzer voted against you. Don’t get too excited yet, that was only one factor, but Una also said that she sees no reason why your application would be denied.”
Maya put a hand to her heart and sat back down. Her heart fluttered, and a broad grin appeared on her face. “That’s the best news I could hope for.”
“I only meant to ease some of your worries, not to get your hopes up. ‘No reason to be denied’ is not guaranteed admission.”
“I know, but this is still the best news I could hope for. Whatever may happen, I at least know I was good enough for something. I’ve never felt that before.
If outward appearances were to be trusted, Maya seemed to be a model student in her first semester. She knew all the answers, gave off an air of confidence, and seemed to effortlessly earn high marks. However, Maya was also a young woman with no experience being a student and little experience functioning in modern society. For one semester, Maya was able to get by on prior knowledge, luck, and brute force-–she had a skill for predicting correct answers.
One semester of terrible habits put her in an unfavorable position for the next, and Maya fell from star student to academic probation. She kept her struggles private, at first sure that she could claw her way out on her own, but later she hid them out of shame. She couldn’t bear the thought of being a source of disappointment yet again, not after La’an had done so much before. She tried to get back on track on her own, until it became clear that she could not save herself. Her choices were to withdraw on her own terms or to face expulsion. Maya chose the former, but didn’t tell a soul. She sent her files to the registrar, and once she was moved out the whole ordeal would be behind her.
If she timed it right, she could slip out silently without her roommate knowing. Her window was small, just an hour and a half while Niamh was in class, but Maya had few belongings, she could pack everything in that time. She managed to cram everything into her suitcase and head out the door just in time, but still ran into Naimh in the hall.
Niamh raised an eyebrow and glanced down to Maya’s suitcase.
“Maya,..you didn’t tell me you were going anywhere.”
Maya evaded eye contact and took a deep breath to help her find the courage to look her (now former) roommate in the eye. “It was a last minute choice. I…I’m leaving. Permanently.”
Niamh’s jaw dropped, and as she regained her composure she tried to stand a little taller. “If this was about when I came home drunk last week, because I would have rather just talked…”
“Niamh, no. It’s nothing to do with you. I’m leaving the Academy.”
“Wait, what? Why?”
Maya pushed past Niamh. “My reasons are private. Goodbye, Niamh.”
Niamh followed her but stayed a few paces behind. “So, are you moving back with La’an?”
“Definitely not.” Maya quickened her pace and did not look back.
“Then where are you going?”
“Somewhere. Anywhere. Goodbye, Niamh!”