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Jadzia can’t stop thinking about Lenara after she leaves. Seeing her again was so unexpected, so thrilling, and yet so nervous and dangerous too. It wasn’t just that reassociation was banned, though that played a part in it too. It was the fear that perhaps they had changed too much, that Kahn and Dax having new hosts with incompatible personalities would drive them apart, make them loathe each other when they had once loved each other.
(Or perhaps Jazdia had hoped that would happen, because if they couldn’t get along then they wouldn’t have to worry about reassociation, and all the associated peril).
Jadzia can’t decide if she’s relieved or heartbroken after Lenara leaves. Perhaps it is both - relieved that she won’t have to risk getting exiled, and yet heartbroken that she can’t be with Lenara, that she can’t have more time with Kahn, even if it was just a few more days. But you did get a few more days with Kahn when Lenara came onto the station, whispers a voice in the back of her head. You were able to see Kahn, spend more time with them, time that you never expected to have after Torias died in that shuttle crash. And Jazdia sighs, she knows that logically she did get a few more days with Kahn, and on a related note that logically the reassociation ban keeps joined Trills from consolidating power and using it against unjoined Trills. But she’s not a Vulcann, dammit, all the logic in the world won’t make her emotions go away, she’s not going to think rationally about this kind of thing, for crying out loud. (And besides, Vulcans weren’t the most logical when it came to love either. Dax had never seen anything, but they'd heard stories all the way back to Emony).
She keeps thinking about the things they did that day, the work they did, their dinner date, Jadzia saving Lenara from the fire... she thinks too, about Nilani and Torias, and how Torias’s life was cut short, and all the things that they had managed to do together in that short time. She’d thought about those things before, of course, but she thinks about them more now, after Kahn’s new host came to visit her - no, don’t be silly, she didn’t come to visit you, whispers the voice in the back of her mind. She came because her team was studying the wormhole so that they could make an artificial one, remember? It was just a coincidence that you were on the station. And Jadzia sighs again, because yes, the voice was right, but it was still a damn large coincidence, it was rare to run into a joined Trill that one knew when you were both offworld, so maybe it wasn’t just coincidence, maybe it was fate or the work of some higher being. There were quite a few omnipotent beings in the galaxy, the Q and the Prophets and so many others. Maybe one of them or some other power or being as yet unknown to them had manipulated things such that they would run into each other again. Jadzia would probably never know. Hell, it didn’t really matter that much. What mattered was that Jadzia wanted to be with Lenara, and that could never happen, and so now she was haunted by her, and probably would be for a very long time to come.