Chapter Text
Cold
The cold seemed to be everywhere. All around him and inside of him. There was no way to escape it.
About an hour ago Spock's tricoder had malfunctioned again as he was getting closer to the colossal energy source that had been interfering with their instruments. Just before the tricoder had switched itself off, it had indicated the temperature was 3 degrees above zero. Spock estimated that an hour had passed since then and that the temperature had fallen at least another 2 degrees.
Since the First Officer had started his descent towards the bottom of the abyss, every fibre of his body was urging his mind to sit down to initiate the hibernation trance. He needed to start the trance as soon as possible before it was too late and he wouldn't have the strength anymore and collapse.
But there's still time, Spock told himself. Not yet.
I mustn't give in to my urge. I have control over my body and mind, I have control over my mind and body, Spock was silently repeating over and over again. Five lives were depending on his functioning, on his ability to find a way out of this dark, freezing vastness that was filled with unknown machines and energies.
He had to summon all his mental strength just to keep on walking. His mind was still alert but he was battling exhaustion, as severe as he had never experienced before. As a Vulcan he had learned at a young age to suppress his human emotions, urges and desires. Therefore, it had become his habit to automatically favour his Vulcan half whenever he felt a battle between his mother and father's genes erupt within himself. And right now his Vulcan half was warning Spock that if he wouldn't initiate the hibernation trance soon, he would collapse and fall into a coma just like Dr McCoy had predicted. A coma his mind wouldn't be able to control. He would never regain consciousness again because either he would have to be treated immediately in the state of the art medical facilities on the Enterprise or a Vulcan healer would have to reawaken him. As neither option was available, falling into a coma would mean certain death. However, if he was to initiate the hibernation trance, he would be able to control his bodily functions and his subconscious survival mechanism would keep him alive for several days. So why wasn't he obeying what his Vulcan logic was dictating him?
There's still time. I can go on.
Something at the depth of his soul was stopping him, preventing him from allowing himself even just one minute to slow down and relax. His behaviour was illogical because soon he would collapse. Spock couldn't deny it any longer - it seemed like this time, his human half had the upper hand and was dictating his actions.
Spock was climbing down the steps he had discovered at the edge of the platform. They were leading down towards the bottom of the abyss where he had detected Mr Scott's voice 2.25 hours ago. While he descended down the stairs, slowly and carefully, he couldn't stop himself from searching his mind for answers why he was acting illogically. The doctor had been right. He wouldn't be of help to anyone if he was to fall into a coma. And die.
The Vulcan forced himself to ignore his inner turmoil and focus on the task ahead instead. He had been very fortunate to discover those steps. And it was also fortunate that the platform wasn't moving at the moment. Spock knew that the plateau would have to remain where it was until he had reached the bottom, retrieved the landing party and returned back up to the top with them. The steps were leading up from the bottom of the abyss and weren't attached to the platform. So if the plateau above moved again before they had reached it, they would be cut off from the doctor and Ensign Chekov. And without functioning tricoders it would be nearly impossible to localise them again in the planet's gigantic sub-surface space. Without the tricoder he was also not able to analyse what awaited him at the pitch-black bottom of this space. Right now, he only knew that he was gradually coming closer to his destination.
The steps were about a meter high and it took Spock some effort and strength in his weakened condition to overcome them, one at a time. He realised that he was forcing his frozen limps to obey like some kind of stubborn robot whose batteries were running low but who insisted to move on. At this thought, the Vulcan halted abruptly. He suddenly knew why he didn't allow himself to initiate the hibernation trance. And the answer shocked him. The reason was... Fear.
Illogical as it was, he was experiencing fear and the emotion prevented him from starting the trance.
Spock walked on stubbornly, taking the next step just as determined as the previous ones, but slower.
He was scared that he would let his shipmates down. That they would perish because of his failure to control his mind and body. That would be unacceptable to the captain but also to himself. He was aware of the great danger that if he was to rest only for a moment, it was likely that his body, his survival instinct, would automatically initiate the hibernation trance that would incapacitate him to save the others. He would remain in hibernation until he would be taken to a significantly warmer environment. But the tricoders hadn't indicated any area below the planet's surface that had a temperature above 5 degrees. In any case, Spock wouldn't allow himself to become a burden to the others. He was in charge and it was his responsibility to save them, not the other way round. And while he remained conscious there was at least a chance that he would fulfil his duties just in time before he would eventually collapse.
But his Vulcan half continued to plead with him to do the logical thing and rest and do his best not to initiate the trance, arguing just like McCoy had done a few hours before. Back then, the doctor had surprised Spock by displaying a rare ability to assess a situation logically: if Spock was collapsing into a coma he wouldn't be of any use to anyone. But the FO understood now that he had no other choice but to accept that his human half had, for once, gained the upper hand. And his human instincts told him to take his chances: He had to try and finish the task; he was the only hope his men had and the fear to let them down spurred him on.
Spock took a deep breath and continued his descent. He had estimated that he was three quarters down the steps and would reach the bottom of the abyss in about 10 minutes.
He wasn't really surprised by his human emotions. They had always been a part of him but during years of thorough practice he had managed to control them. And on the rare occasions when control was failing him, he simply suppressed them. But he was surprised that his fear and worry for his shipmates had made it so easy for him to disregard his Vulcan half. Usually it was easy to suppress the human part of his being because it was illogical and unworthy of a Vulcan to let his actions being dictated by emotions.
As Spock was analysing his motivations to carry on, he suddenly realised that he was feeling another human emotion deep down in his heart; an emotion that was closely inter-linked with his fear: Relief.
Relief about being too scared to give in to his body's urges because his intuition told him that even though he was acting illogically, he was doing the right thing. The situation demanded that he walked on down those stairs. Step by step, meter after meter. As Spock was recalling Scotty's terrible scream in his memory, his already shaking body shook even more. The chief engineer and his men were very likely in immediate danger. Without noticing, Spock quickened his pace.
Even though this suppressed part of his character was telling him that he was doing the right thing, Spock was deeply ashamed that he was such a slave to his emotions. However, the soft and gentle voice of his mother’s heritage whispered to him that Jim would have been proud on his ability to behave like a Human in situations that warranted so.
Jim... Spock was convinced that if the captain would have been here with him right now, he would have helped him with putting his feelings into perspective. While Spock felt like he was committing a sin against his Vulcan heritage, Jim would try to convince him that he was doing his Human heritage proud by acting out of compassion for his crewmates. In fact, Spock was well aware that he was acting with the motivation that underpinned all of Captain Kirk's decisions - he was acting out of concern for the men under his command. He wondered if 14 months at Kirk's side had made him too lenient, too uncontrolled.
Captain Kirk had a negative influence on me, his Vulcan half stated coolly in his mind. But such a thought is illogical, his human half countered quickly, for how can it be that a trait I admire in my captain, I despise for myself?
Spock sighed and as he climbed down the next step he remembered the last time Jim had acted out of concern towards him. When he had demanded of Spock and the doctor to promise to get along. Jim's promise ... He had already broken that promise.
Spock suddenly stopped and drooped. He had broken the promise he had given his captain and friend. He was not only unworthy of being a Vulcan, he was even unworthy of a Human, as he wasn't able to obey a simple moral ritual of his mother's people - the promise. Of course, McCoy had also broken that promise, but what could have been expected from such an impulsive and irrational individual like the CMO? The quiet, soft voice in his mind reminded him that Jim had deemed the doctor capable to keep such a promise, otherwise he wouldn't have asked it of him. His judgement of McCoy was therefore unjust. Spock had just risen his right eyebrow at such a surprising conclusion when he heard a soft moan nearby. He stepped forward and realised that no more steps were following the last one. He had reached the bottom.
Spock stood still in the pitch-black, icy cold that was surrounding him. He was concentrating all his energy on his hearing senses. Where had that moan come from? There - he heard it again. Soft and distant. Approximately 21.5 meters to his left.
Spock took off into that direction.
"Mr Scott?"
No answer.
"Lieutenant Monet, Lieutenant Brown?"
No answer.
"Commander Spock here. Please make yourself known, if you're able to."
Spock tried hard to sound confident and composed and not to reveal the concern he was feeling. He also suppressed the chattering of his teeth. If the men were nearby and alive, he had to convey control and composure in front of them. He was here to rescue them.
“Spock..."
A hoarse, quiet whisper, 10 meters ahead of him. It had been just one word, but the FO had no doubt who had spoken it.
Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott was alive.
"I'm here, Mr Scott, I shall reach you in 3.1 seconds."
Spock quickened his pace and rushed towards the soft voice. His senses were so sensitive towards warmth in his present condition, that he noticed the two bodies that emitted some energy before he could detect them in the dim light of his tricoder. The instrument was still not working properly, but at least the display light was operational and helped him to identify Mr Scott on the floor.
Spock stopped and knelt down next to the CEO who was lying in a foetal position on the cold ground. Instinctively, Spock reached for Scotty's hand to comfort the engineer who appeared to be injured.
"Mr Spock! I'm mighty glad you're here", Scott said quietly, responding to Spock's gentle squeeze of his hand.
"Are you injured, Commander?", Spock asked in a calm tone.
"I think apart from a decent bump on ma heid, A'm daein fine!", Scott explained as he tried to sit up. He managed to do so when Spock assisted him and gently pulled him up. The Vulcan was well aware that lying on the cold ground for too long was dangerous for the Human.
"But I think me lads weren't that lucky", Scotty exclaimed, worry and fear evident in his voice. "Mr Spock, Whar are they? I just came too and only remember how we git doon here but not whit happened efter that? We wis stannin on a square platform on that weird planet's surface when we suddenly started tae doun. And then the platform suddenly stopped and we fell aff and... I dinnae remember anymair. But the probe..."
"If you're well enough for the moment, Mr Scott, I shall try and ascertain what happened to Lieutenants Brown and Monet", Spock interrupted, "You can give me an account of what else has happened when we have confirmed their conditions", Spock said in controlled but quiet tone.
Even in his confused state, Scotty noticed that Spock was making an effort to sound controlled. Also, he had been concerned when the FO’s ice-cold hand had touched him. He knew that the Vulcan's handshake was usually much warmer than a Human's due to his different metabolism. He also knew that Spock found the general temperature of 22 degrees aboard the Enterprise quite chilly and required a warmer environment in his quarters. He had personally adjusted the temperature in the First Officer's personal spaces to 37 degrees. He wondered how the Vulcan was coping in such freezing conditions.
"Aye. You're right, Mr Spock. Dona worry 'bout me, I'll be fine, I just need a moment to come to me senses. But please look for me lads. I think they're nearby", Scotty replied, also making an effort to sound calm and collected as not to trouble his superior unnecessarily.
Spock had already moved to his left to explore the closer vicinity.
"Yes, Mr Scott, Lieutenant Brown is right next to you", Spock announced as he touched the engineering assistant's face. He had recognised the young man due to his curly hair.
"He is unconscious but none of his limbs seem to be broken", Spock continued as he checked Brown for external injuries.
Scotty sighed a breath of relief. He shifted towards the injured Lieutenant and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"What about Lieutenant Monet, Spock?"
"I don't think he's nearby as I don't detect any more sources of heat in the vicinity", Spock said as he stood up and walked on, "I shall check further down the..."
The Vulcan was silenced by a thud as he bumped into a lifeless form on the floor. He lowered himself down to inquire further.
"What is it, Spock? Have you found Louis?"
"Yes", Spock replied solemnly as he took his hand from Lieutenant Monet's neck, "I'm sorry, Mr Scott. The Lieutenant is dead. He appears to have broken his neck during the fall."
"Oh no! No, no. Good Lord. Me poor laddie...", Scotty blurted out as he held his hands before his face. He realised Spock wouldn't see the tears that were building up in his eyes anyway in the darkness they were in. He lowered his hands again, putting them back on Brown's shoulders.
For a while they sat quietly, each tormented by their own demons. Spock felt that anything he would say would be inadequate to help Mr Scott cope with his grief. So he simply sat down next to Brown and the Scotsman and checked the young engineering assistant’s pulse again. Satisfied, he noted that it was slow but steady.
The FO was also pleased the fact that he hadn't collapsed yet. He would have to tell Mr Scott as quickly as possible how to get to Dr McCoy and the ensign before it was too late.
"That blasted planet! What in the name o' God happened, Mr Spock?”, Scotty cried, abruptly ending the silence between them and preventing Spock from saying his bit. "I mean, reet away it was obvious to us that we didnae end up on Adelous 4 and when the Hoffmann 7 probe arrived, I knew we'd gotten oorsels into some mighty mess. Why else would ye've been forced to send a probe, and not a landing party after us?"
Spock was surprised that he had forgotten the probe for a moment there. His concern for the three missing men and his own struggle to stay conscious had obviously weakened his ability to think clearly.
In a few sentences Spock now summed up the recent events for Scott who was listening intently. If there would have been light, the Vulcan would have seen the CEO’s baffled face as he shared his knowledge about the gigantic space they were in and the strange machinery and energies it contained.
"Well, the scream you heard was me all right", Scotty chipped in, "I tried to fix that damn tin can. The bloody machine gied me a belter o' a shock when I touched it", Scotty explained as he shook his head, exhausted, "It had appeared next tae us just before we started to descend into this ice-hell. Ah'd managed tae send the first message above ground but then duin' the first bit o' the descent, it started to smell funny and we saw some smoke coming out fae the bottom. Probably some cables had burned through duri’ the transport. When the platform halted jist a wee bit efte, I quickly wanted to send anither message but instead the tin can decided to fry me. Then we gaed doon further until a’ a sudden the platform stopped again, but this time so abruptly that we fell aff. I heard poor Brownie scream when we thumped tae the floo'r but then me mind went as black as everything else."
At this, Brown started to move and Spock gently took the injured Lieutenant in his arms.
"He is struggling to regain consciousness, Mr Scott", Spock said quietly, well aware that he on the other hand was struggling to stay conscious. The Vulcan knew that it could only be minutes now until he would fall unconscious. Thankfully he had already managed to inform Scott of everything that had happened and how they could get to the location of Dr McCoy and Ensign Chekov.
"Whit can we dae for the lad?", Scotty said with clear fear in his voice. Spock pulled Brown closer and carefully placed his left hand onto his face.
"I will try to assist the Lieutenant in his endeavour through a mind meld", the FO explained calmly. Scotty gasped for air but before he could express his concern for Brown and Spock, the latter continued.
"When Mr Brown is conscious again you will then proceed to reach Dr McCoy and Ensign Chekov. That is an order, Mr Scott."
Scotty didn't like the Vulcan's monotone tone. Spock usually sounded neutral, but the way he sounded right now made the Scotsman shiver even more. If a dead man could talk he would sound like the First Officer, he realised solemnly. What the hell was going on?
"Spock, I dona like this. Not one tiny bit!"
"I have no time to argue your preferences, Mr Scott. You will obey my orders." The last words were said with the Vulcan's usual sharpness when he was demanding obedience of his officers. Then he fell silent and Scotty knew that he was focusing on his mind-meld. He ordered himself to shut up and leave Spock to it, not daring to interrupt his delicate Vulcan healing powers.
After a few quiet minutes where Scott could only vaguely detect the movement of Spock's fingers on Brown's face, the young assistant engineer suddenly regained consciousness.
"Lieutenant Delroy Brown reporting on duty, Sir", the young man said in a hoarse but otherwise controlled voice. Scotty had to smile to himself. Spock had possibly bossed the lad around during the meld and ordered him to wake up. And Brown just replied to his superior as it was customary.
"Sir? Why is it so dark…and so freezing cold?", Brown's voice was shaky from the cold and he sounded baffled.
Scotty squeezed the officer's shoulders encouragingly, "It's all right, I'm here, Del. So is Mr Spock. Are ye hurt?"
"Mr Scott! Boy, am I glad to hear your voice", Brown sounded relieved to hear his superior next to him, "Apart from a bump on the head, I don't think I am, Sir. Mr Spock just asked me the same thing."
Scotty had to grin again. The boy was blissfully unaware that he had just been subjected to a Vulcan mind-meld. The First Officer probably remained silent for the moment to give the young Lieutenant a chance to fully come to his senses.
"I just got a bit of a headache. But apart from that I think I'm all right", Brown continued, "Where's Louie?"
Scotty sighed and was looking for the right words to explain to Delroy that his best friend was dead as suddenly a thud interrupted the silence. Scott immediately knew what had happened and reached out with both arms into the darkness next to him.
"Mr Spock!", Scotty cried out. He reached down and touched the Vulcan's icy cheeks. He had collapsed to the floor. The CEO shook him gently, then more fiercely, pleading with him to wake up. But his efforts were to no avail, the FO didn't move an inch.
Scotty felt desperation creep into his heart and soul. What the hell was going on? Had the cold made Spock collapse or had he omitted to mention an injury? That would figure, as the Vulcan never spoke of such perceived shortcomings like injuries unless he was pressed to do so. He put his cheek towards Spock's mouth and noticed his faint, very slow breathing. Scotty's heart skipped a beat. The Vulcan was alive.
But just about.