Chapter Text
It was over, yet Kirk felt more like they suffered a staggering defeat. He sat in LeFevre’s ready room, along with Spock, McCoy, and LeFevre himself. The four men sat in silence for a moment, each knowing that they had a difficult conversation ahead of them but none wanted to be the one to initiate it.
“Captain LeFevre,” Kirk began, his voice soft yet firm. “”Enterprise is yours again.” He shook his head. “I should be relieved that the civilians are safe, but I’m finding it impossible to feel anything other than immense loss.”
McCoy looked toward Spock. “I guess you can’t explain about the ‘needs of the many’ this time.” Even as he teased, his tone was sincere, just a little attempt to easy the tension.
“If one were only to consider numbers alone, perhaps not,” Spock answered. “However, and I do not intend to imply that some lives are worth more than others, but the vast majority of the casualties were Starfleet personnel who knowingly assumed risks in the line of duty, while all but two of the civilians who survived the crash were safely rescued. One must also consider the potential lives saved by eliminating the threat posed by Khan and the augments.”
“You’re right,” McCoy conceded. “But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He looked to LeFevre. “Any words of wisdom from ancient athletes?”
LeFevre shook his head. “I don’t think The Great One ever found him in a situation like ours. Admiral, have you decided what to do about the surviving augments?” Right to business, that was one way to avoid the uncomfortable feelings.
Kirk nodded. “With the wreckage destroyed, as long as all ships are warned to stay away, the threat they pose is impossibly small. I think it’s best to leave them be.”
“Again, Admiral?” LeFevre pressed.
Kirk leaned forward, defensively, but McCoy spoke first.
“Captain!” McCoy snapped. “What would you do instead? Kill them all? We’ve been over this before, we’re talking about more than a bunch of tyrants and war criminals from hundreds of years ago: there are families, children. In fact, I’d wager that the worst of them went down with the Portland.”
“That’s enough, Doctor.” LeFevre countered. “I only meant that I don’t like the idea of letting them off without any consequences, but I can’t think of a better solution.”
“Captain,” Spock had something to add this time. “Their leader and a significant number of their kin have been killed. Some might consider that outcome a consequence.”
“And the augments rescued from the Portland?” LeFevre continued.
“I want them sent back to the planet. Regardless of what they did to help, it’s too much of a liability to keep them on the ship.”
LeFevre nodded. “Something we can agree on.”
Maya was back in the brig on the Enterprise, under even closer supervision than the last time with a guard who wouldn’t give her a moment of privacy. The great irony is that she was the least likely to make an escape attempt. In sickbay she had been told that all traces of the virus were cleared from her body, yet she was still feverish, sore, and exhausted and only wanted to sleep.
She laid on the cot trying to sleep even though her head was spinning, and at first she ignored the sound of approaching footsteps. It was only the sound of a familiar voice that caught her attention.
“Maya? Are you awake?” Doctor McCoy asked.
“Despite my best efforts, yes.” She replied as she sat up. “Any chance you have more of the medication that Doctor T’Ralia gave me?”
“Unfortunately too much of that drug would burn a hole in your liver.”
“Is this what you meant, when you said there could be long term consequences?” She asked, desperate and frightened.
“Well, it’s still too early to be talking about anything long term.” He spoke as if he was trying to comfort himself too. “But I don’t have an answer for you, no matter how much I wish I did. Anyway, I came to tell you that…well it’s over. The crew of the Portland is safe, but the ship had to be destroyed.”
“And Captain Albrecht? Do you think she might recover from the brain damage?”
McCoy didn’t say a word, but he didn’t need to, his face was an easy one to read. The look of pain and shock on his face, like he wanted to speak but didn’t know what to say…that told her everything.
Maya’s head was spinning, and she couldn’t stay upright any longer. She laid back down. “She’s dead, isn’t she?” McCoy simply nodded.
“Maya…please don’t blame yourself.”
“How can I not?” Even though she was exhausted and lying down, Maya raised her voice and was practically shouting. “Everything that happened to her happened because she trusted me.”
“Then the best you can do is spend the rest of your life making choices you can look back at and be proud of.” He went quiet. “We’ll, as best you can, I also came to tell you that Kirk wants to have you, Astrid, and Awais sent back to the planet. Astrid and Awais are eager to return home, but I thought you might have a few objections.”
“Ceti Alpha V is not my home.” She sat back up, ignoring the spinning in her head because she wanted to feel a bit more dignified for this conversation.
“I don’t want to send you back there, but I don’t think that’s going to be enough to change his mind.”
“I wouldn’t be safe there.” A sudden realization came to mind, and it gave Maya such a strong sense of hope that she found the strength and energy she needed to get back to her feet. “Would he refuse me if I requested asylum?”
“I can tell you he wouldn’t like it, but you have a compelling case.”
Maya sat back down. “Then that’s what I want to do. What can I expect on earth?”
“Yours is a complicated case, and I’m a doctor, not a lawyer.”
“I’ve already had a complicated life.”
“Not this complicated. You’ve helped us, but you’ve also caused a lot of harm along the way. Then there’s also the federation’s strict ban on genetic engineering.”
“I wasn’t genetically engineered, Doctor, I was created in the same way you were.”
“Hence the complications. I can’t guess where you might fit in the world, but I can guarantee your safety.”
“I’m used to not fitting in, safety is all I want.”
“That can be accommodated.”
Kirk had to give condolences himself, in person. Gloria Albrecht lived in a remote corner of Southeastern Alaska, where the people preferred isolation to such an extent that they didn’t allow transporters except in emergencies. He had to beam in to Juneau, ride a ferry up the fjord, to a small town, and hike up a mountain. He couldn’t imagine the challenges of living here, but to visit? Nothing felt more invigorating, and he was sure this was the best time of year to visit. The air was cold, the leaves changing, and low mist hanging in the air.
The house looking like a little shack originally built centuries ago and gradually added to. Kirk knocked on the door, and was surprised by how soon Gloria opened the door to greet him. He had given her as much advance notice as he could manage, but it still seemed like she had been waiting by the door.
“Gloria.” He began. “A pleasure to meet you. I’m…”
“Admiral Kirk, I know.” She sounded irritated.
“If you don’t want to talk I can go. I don’t mind.”
“No. Come in.”
Kirk followed her inside. While the exterior of the house was…rustic the interior was as modern as could be, save for a few pieces of furniture and decor that looked to have celebrated at least one hundred birthdays. “You have a lovely home,” he began. A common piece of small talk, but he meant it.
“What, this old shack?”
“The house is something special, but to be honest I was talking more about the surrounding: the mountains, the trees.”
Gloria sat on an armchair that looked like might have been an original to the old home. “Make yourself at home, Admiral. You know, I like living out here because no one bothered me, but now that I want to be left alone and grieve, I have a visitor almost every day,”
“Again, I don’t have to stay.” Kirk stayed on his feet until a pleading look from Gloria urgent him to sit on another ancient armchair.
“I’ve been mulling over for days what I should say, but I realized there’s probably nothing about your wife I could say that you don’t already know about her courage or her selfless heart. I thought it might be better to simply offer company, answer questions, or help around the house if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Admiral, I don’t need anything, but how long were you planning on staying?”
“I was planning on going back to Juneau on the overnight ferry this evening, but my plans are flexible.”
“No need for any of that, the favor I’m going to ask can be done from the ferry.”
“And what’s that?”
“You got lucky. You came to Alaska on a day when then sky is clear yet a solar storm is predicted.”
“Aurora borealis?” Kirk guessed with a sense of wonder.
Gloria nodded. “I’ve never been to space, but Vivienne said nothing she saw out there compared to seeing the Lights on a clear night.”
“Did she grow up here?”
“No, she grew up just outside of Alaska.”
“Northwestern Canada?” Kirk guessed.
“No, downtown Anchorage.” A smile appeared on Gloria’s face, slight, but just enough to reach her eyes.
Kirk returned her smile. “Well, if you’re sure there’s nothing else you need.”
“Just one more favor. Before you leave, spend as much time as you can outdoors. Hiking, exploring, getting your toes in the earth.”
“I can think of no other way I’d like to spend my time here.” Kirk stood, taking Gloria’s hand in his and looking down into her eyes. “I’m glad I had the change to know Vivienne.”
Kirk was a man of his word. By the time he boarded the ferry his legs ached from climbing uphill and his body was chilled to the core from working up a sweat in the cold air. His body begged for sleep, but he had a promise to keep. He waited out of the deck in the cold air until he saw the first faint flash of green dance across the sky, and then another, bolder and bolder. Of everything he had seen exploring space, maybe it wasn’t the most spectacular, but with the memory of Captain Albrecht in his heart, it was certainly the most special. He was reminded of an old poem that often came to mind when he was outdoors, words he always appreciated but never fully understood until now.
I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,
If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.
Missing me one place search another,I stop somewhere waiting for you.